Want Ads/Personals from British papers (telephone number deleted);
Wanted: 30 Chinamen and a zeppelin for an elborate practical joke. Can you help?
Albino he-she seeks same.
Amanda! - I'm running a bit late and will be there in an hour. How far apart are the contractions?
For Sale: Bonsai tree, large.
Does anyone else think is something wrong with Tucker Carlson (insert any name you like)
Am you grammar letting we down? Private tuition available. Now call now.
Incurable romantic seeks filthy whore.
Virginity. Yes! Get in!
Is your memory letting you down?
And what about your memory?
Is it letting you down?
Call for info pack right now, before you forget!
Small minority wanted to spoil it for the rest of us. There is always one, is it you?
Good looking Notting Hill based movie star, millionaire seeking gullible stunner.
For Sale: Holiday Photos, choice of ski, sun or city break. Ideal for anecdote or alibi.
Get Rich Quick! Simply set up a premium rate telephone number. For more info cal 0900 xxx xxx
Hitachi Washing Machine for sale, under warranty until - kill kill kill, kill them all - February 2005. In perfect working order.
Lose Weight Fast! Fed up with diet and exercise? Incredible results guaranteed! Try Amoebic Dysentery! Vile priced to sell. Just add to Sea Food.
Finally,...one for Doc S;
Nemesis wanted: I'm 5'10" tall, into kayaking, books and conversation (by day), justice, honour and vengeance (by night). Seeking crimelord, arch villain or deformed meglomaniac.